Category Archives: Viewpoints

I missed so many things…I’m so sorry…

“I don’t know what formula of success, but I certainly know what formula of failure…to please everybody”
-by I don’t remember who.

This few posts back, I’ve been writing about almost nothing. Some of them are just mere seasonal vibes and feelings. And that include this post.

I guess I have been too much pay my allegiance to the formula of failure which is to please everybody…except myself. Thus in the process I’ve been missing so many things that most of the time important for those I wanted to please. I feel bad because of it. Now I want to make a bit of paradigm shift inside of me, in other words a self reform.

It sounds nice to please everybody. It certainly sounds noble but the truth is it’s not. The more I want to please everyone around me, the more I will hurt them and much importantly I am the one who hurt the most. Why? Because “everyone/everybody” is just too many to cope with.

In analogy, it would be like a inquisitive little boy who wanted to learn and master everything under the sun and on the earth. Utterly unwise and crazy. Maybe the boy can master a few but let others handle the rest.

I missed so many things and I hurt so many peoples/friends/etc. I am sorry. I can’t be ‘more’ perfect (which made it sound like I am perfect). That’s why I always dream to be nobody. Because in this real world nobody is perfect.

To be honest, when I hurt somebody, and when I realized that they were hurt because of me, I was twice as hurt. No words can be uttered to portray my sorry.

Most of the time I care so much about feelings. I just want to ‘do what I want others to do to me’. That’s all. Most of the time I failed to hold to my own principle. Mistake is mistake and damage cannot be undone. Like a saying “A man has no nature, a man only has history”.

Now I would like to try only master a few rather than everything. I can’t save the world but maybe I can save a few soul. Not trying to please everyone but try a more balance approach. Accept that hurting others is inevitable and be hurt is normal.

I admit, my writing is cryptic than ever. Sometime understanding is not to grasp the meaning but just to hold the feeling. What I mean sometime is not important. However I really want to convey my feeling.

For those who know me in the real life, I really hope that you would understand my writing especially those who have been unintentionally hurt by my stupid words or actions. For blog mates I hope my comments and postings are appropriate. If not I am sorry.

I am apologetic. Most people hate apologetic person. I hate part of my apologetic personality but sometimes I appreciate it. I believe that humble is not lack of pride but humility is ability to admit self mistakes (made me sounds like I am humble) and to boast that I am humble is not humble at all.

Postscript : I have deleted my Friendster and Facebook accounts, I don’t feel they’re useful anymore. They’re just made me hurt. I still can be found in so many place in the internet i.e. Google, Gmail, Yahoo Mail, Yahoo messenger, and WordPress. Or just call me or sms me. (Sigh…it’s not like so many friends will find me. So much of one sided friendship. Go to hell…Sigh.To hurt is normal right…?)



Do You Watch TV?

Imagine…1 Year Later20 March 2009…

Person A : Do you watch TV yesterday night?
Person B : Watch what? Do you mean News?
Person A : Yes of course what else? It was a bad accident at Place A yesterday afternoon. And the traffic jam was so terrible.
Person B : Mmmm. Do you believe what they’re saying? I bet they asked some peoples to act the accident and made the headlines. Just to make us afraid to drive fast…
Person A : Yes, I even doubt the News. Its looked too fabricated. By the way I have been lost faith to TV long time ago.
Person B : All of them are all just mere liars!!!

Can you imagine what am I implying? Do you watch TV (I mean Malaysian TV) nowadays? Do you believe anything what they say? Can we still hope for TV to tell truth for us?

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History Will Be Written

logo-50tahun_2.jpgHistory was my favorite subject when I was in school. Why? Because history is like a long story that are interesting and sometime twisted and weird. But most of the time they are just logical arrangement of important events that occurred randomly and sometimes in repetition. However in the same time I could not excel my history lesson because I have an extraordinary distorted sense of logic. Most of the time I couldn’t relate history with logic. I am born to be a scientist with weird vision and imagination. And, I have a really bad memory.

History lesson always ornamented with beautiful and funny mnemonics. I can’t remember any though, but I always know there was a mnemonic or theory called RAHMAN theory. A accidental mnemonic for 6 Malaysia’s prime ministers. And you know Malaysia to date still have only 5 prime ministers unless in few days the fifth (Hokage) step down to fulfill the RAHMAN.

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