Have it ever occur to you when you bath or when you lie on your bed, your mind can’t resist reminiscing the sweet time in the past? Reminiscing the past friendships and bonds that were so strong that you can’t resist your tears flowing on your cheek. Images of laughter and smile, and sadness and solemn. Is it when you try to open the old album, and close it again because the pain on your chest is so intense? Just to know that those pictures and images are all in the past. Memories that you know can’t never be near again.
I have been there. Among my friends I am the first to make the breakaway. The first to leave the group. The first to be isolated. I might have a bad brain to remember all the names. Honestly even though we were once a best friend I might still forget the names. But…the feelings, the promises, the air of when we were together are still fresh in my mind and in my heart. Because when I keep walking down the path, I realized that there was never a comradeship, a friendship that greater since. Just when I realize I have lost it, I have walked too far, looking back I just see the thick bushes and the old woods of yesterday.
I’ve always been taught that experience is the best teacher. Since then I never afraid to travel to an alien place to search for this teacher.
When I was leaving for MRSM Kuching, everybody asked me why. My friends of course, the Principal, and the teachers. My childish and innocent notion made me answered to them that it was for the sake of experience. Honestly it was my own decision. The Principal even jokingly with sarcasm ask me, “is there no experience here in Kolej (Kolej Tun Datu Tuanku Haji Bujang)?” I was stun in silence not knowing what to say. Then,also my friend asked why and I answered “Carik susah” (find difficulties). Because he said that I have all the privileges and friends there in Kolej and suddenly I want to go.
Then off I went to search for the glory of Heaven and the splendor of the Earth. I found not just the glory and the splendor but also the knowledge of sorrow, of love, of power and of betrayal. Above all nothing is comparable to the friendship that I found there in MRSM. As Charles Dickens describe the Revolution…1775
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way.
Am I on the right path of am I on a fool’s errand? Will I be able to find the dream I am looking for? Will my prayer be answered? Questions after questions, uncertainties and anxieties. I was unsure of my decision when I was on the MRSM soil. As I always do, the last thing I wanted to do is regreting. I braved those days with my eyes wide open absorbing something new which were pretty much everything.
There, people were different because we were living in total seperation from the outside world. We didn’t see so much of outsider unless weekends. The culture was quite saturated with boarding school culture. Things that I observed so much different form Kolej were people show they are
- love couple so explicitly,
- people rarely speak english,
- seniority and juniority were so important,
- everything done by students for studens,
- boarding students are a bit loaded compare to Kolej,
- anger were resolved by fight,
- and prefecture and students body are respected not dreaded.
The root of our friendship was so much of cronyism. We were divided by some certain common interest. What we like to do together. Almost all the time we did them together. We eat, play, study and pray together. We protect our members. It was almost gangsterism minus the trouble. We didn’t do trouble together.
In MRSM when we want to do something or go somewhere we fight for it. We went to the teachers and the principal to get for endorsement. We bugged the teachers until they give the approve. Example if we want to go for group outing.
We lived as brothers and as sisters. When we have problems we shared them. When we have happiness we embrace them together. Cry and laugh together. We were one big family.
But certainly, things come and go. Like the wind and the rain. Days and night. Happiness and sorrow. Just keep on moving in a circle. Even the greatest love story ever told those time ends. Even the utmost beauty friendship meet the conclusion. As the time goes by the memories fades into the past.
I am sorry I reminded you (if you are related) of a bitter past. Or…a past that you don’t want to see anymore. I am just a friend that want to be the keeper of this treasure, the treasure of memories of friendship and love. For some, the pictures retell the previous love that has lost, some, adventure that insatiable, and memories of past resentment that have yet forgiven. I am in no power to rekindle them. They might just better be forever doused.
(Note: If you know anybody in the picture please tell them about this post. I will try to tell all that still in contact with me. These picture are from my personal album during MRSM time. I still have 30 edited picture to be put in the blog. 10 have been shown above. If anybody wants the soft copy of my album please contact me and I may send you a CD direct to your address. It would be my pleasure to have you all again in contact.)