When I was a little boy, my mum ask me what I wanted to be when I grown up. She once insisted me to be a Medical Doctor. Then she always told me that the choice was then always mine to decide. She really don’t want her children to regret by any choice she’s made. During that time my knowledge of working fields available was specially limited. Nonetheless I never want to be a practitioner, never once. I told my mum that instead of someone giving meds I would love to be someone who found or create meds. I never know back then that what I actually want to be was a pharmacist or medicinal chemist.
What I thought would be appropriate for a person who want to create drug was he must know chemistry. So I study chemistry by heart. I still remember when I was little that I tried to create explosive using clorox bleach. Of course it did not explode. From then on I was really fascinated by the fact that every thinkable physical things are made of chemicals. Everything acts and reacts by some set of law that governs. I never afraid to eat meds and I also like to open the capsule tablet and see what’s inside. I also still remember that I love to poison insects using all kinds of home chemicals. It was cruel though.
I was lucky to be raised up in a knowledge loving surrounding. Good schools and good friends. I’ve made a childhood promise with my best friend, it was said that he will be a Doctor and I will be a chemist that make the meds. God’s grace he is doing his medicine in Russia as I write. He was sent by his family. Wishfully our childhood dream will come true…Amen. Apparently I am on a corrected path to our dreams. To be precise I am going to be a Chemometician upon graduation. One of the important role in drug designing.
I must be thankful after all these confusion inside me all of these years I start to see The Path again. There still so many wishful thinking which eventually become a prayer roaming in my mind. One of them is to be sent study abroad. I want a different environment. I really like to meet those great names I encounter through journals I read. To be taught by them and working with all good facilities and skills that sky is the limit. Deep inside my crying heart I felt envy of my friend that been sent abroad by their family. I wish my family would send me. But in the same time I don’t want to further financially burden them anymore.
Buah cempedak di luar pagar
Ambil galah tolong jolokkan
Saya budak ingin belajar
Kalau boleh tolong hantarkan
THE fruit is outside the fence
Take a stick please, bring it down!
I want to study give me a chance
Take me to the world, all around!