[The internet is awfully slow at the moment. It is excruciatingly pain waiting just to load Google page. It was never this slow before. I wonder Why…]
The least I did on Christmas day was attended Vigil mass, had a Christmas party and sleep the whole day on Christmas day. The whole day means really the whole day. I woke up during the night.
I realize something wrong with me. Due to long time of being left alone and solitary I guess I become so much of paranoid of my surrounding. I have become an anti-social and I really don’t like crowd and many peoples around me. It made me feel uncomfortable. I don’t really like to talk. I prefer to just listen and watch others talk. I can’t express what I feel but just keep everything to myself even I laugh from the inside… I already did so much damage to myself.
I also realize that due to some insurmountable amount of time I spend with my laptop, I become so attached to it that I can’t stop thinking about it whenever I don’t bring it along. I am getting geeky by a second. I guess I looked geekier as I write now. I like to watch informational scientific videos and I kinda hate music video and reality tv. I always appeared to walk with my laptop bag with me at all time. I read Linux news and watch funny geeky series “The Big Bang Theory“.
I can’t sleep until I really sleep because my head just can’t stop thinking. I slept with a dictionary next to my pillow just in case I thought of an English word that I don’t know the meaning. My days won’t be complete if I don’t read something or if I don’t know a new thing. Encarta really come in handy.
When I lay down on my bed I can’t stop thinking of my e-mail. I will walk to the library to get the internet connection just to find out I’ve got no e-mail. Every morning I wake up thinking about what I would write in my blog.
Most of my life revolve around myself. I don’t know how I become like this. I hate to involve in others business I will to the least of possibility to let other involve into mine.
I am a silent person. I was known as a silent boy when I was little. I became a bit lively just for a short while. I was happy. But I am also happy for who I am now. To be involved in community for sometime really made me know myself for a little more.
Above all, despite weirdness I found about myself, differences that I found in me from others around me, made me appreciate myself more. I see world around me really different from how others see it. I just couldn’t understand how others think. I am really weird I can feel it, but I can’t understand it. Just to make me more complicated I often talk and riddles and people around me irritate when I start to explain how things work. However, I just really like to know, to tell and to share.