(This few days I just love the word “utterly” because it just fit in everything…)
I am utterly jealous.
I still don’t know what will happen to my future (I mean this short future). Mostly my colleague already have something they do example working and studying. Like what the Quincy said (If you watch Bleach) “in the Pride of the Quincy” I will not be defeated by any of my friends. I hate to be left behind. My biggest motivation is my Pride (Pride is the capital sin). When I heard the news that all my friends have already paved their path yet I still looking for diverging road, it hurt me. I am sitting enjoying my “worklessness” at my home and wasting my parents money still (an also my brother money). Not even deep inside me I honestly jealous. I am proud I admit it. But I never admit that I am a loser.
What ever it is I am unexplainably happy these few days with friends and family. I think that enough for now. Later I will reclaim my pride. The pride that always slip from my grip back then in my Uni Years. I want it back. I must recoup it. I utterly need it.
Falalala lala la la la