There are coincidences. When I first arrive at my training office I was given a schedule of groups and which section should every trainee will be attached later. Then I was attached to group C. At that time I do not even give a peek to the names in the group. Later I settled down, I found out a name of a person I really don’t want to meet in my group. Actually it was and is not that intense. I just don’t feel like working together with “him”.
Then who is this dude? He is in no.14 in the schedule and is from UNIMAS. He is boyfriend as between lover of a friend of mine. The friend of mine was someone who really fond to me and vice versa. (Is it complicated?)
When he first came to the training office he was rather shy and reserved. He did not really want to even greet me properly. Actually it was the first time we met and I don’t even know him by face but only by name. I only guess he was ‘the person’ but not really sure until then. He was as if know me before meeting me. I guess his girlfriend already told him prior.
Stop there for a while. Another group mate in group C is a girl. Her nick name is coincidently similar with the friend of mine which is the “dude’s” girlfriend. (Is it cruel for me to call him dude?) I don’t know how to put this. These are the few coincidences.
Then days pass by just like that for me. I didn’t tell anybody about it. I just ask some curious questions about that specific guy. But that was not the case on the other party. The guy already blab about how I am or was related with his girlfriend. Moreover, he told it to a trainee mate which is close with me. Then that “told person” start to “usik” me. I felt quite embarrassed because initially I do not want it to be known by other people. It just made me feel hurt. But then I felt alright because it is nothing, nothing to do with me right now. It is just a memory, maybe a sweet one and partly a bitter one.
I don’t like to call it puppy love. I don’t like to call it love though. I just prefer to call it a memory. I liked (past tense) her. I cared for her. Everything is in the past. Although I still thinking of her most of the time. Every cross (I mean keychain and pendant) that can be seen on me was given by her and still on me until this very moment. But let bygones be bygones.
When I think of her I always think of this quite unrelated phrase…
“When you love something you let it go… if it returns, it already is yours… but if not, it will never will be.”
11.15 a.m. May 12, 2007
It is a bit late…. 😉